I am one of those people, who are incapable of change. I'm easily pleased- I suppose. I don't hate change and I'm not one of those people who cling to the same thing without realizing it. I fully realize it - I enjoy routine, I enjoy planning. I enjoy follow through on plans. I don't enjoy plainness- I don't enjoy idling around. I can only stand still for so long. I constantly crave sugar. I realize all these things about myself.
One of the things that I have realized is that I am adaptable. I really really like Arcadia- to the point that I don't feel the need to transfer. But I don't love it - and while I can picture myself for three more years, I don't want to. It's not an image that I am proud of. I compromised- I don't want to. It may be the people that I surround myself with, or it may be the way I look at them. I like politics too much, I enjoy documentaries, I find Disney boring, I don't like the clique-y aspect of us. I appreciate the fact that we are friends, but I know we are turning into a clique and that bothers me. I wonder if it's that the way way at all colleges or just here. Either way - I don't really know. It feels weird to hang out with so many people- and I don't know what I miss- but it doesn't feel normal- and that is slightly frightening.
So why do I want to transfer colleges? And the more important question- why I am in college? Whether or not I can stand change is not the important question - if I don't know what I want then why I am bothering changing? What if I have what I want?
So here's a short list of things....
- i want a school with prestige
- i want a school that has information about latin america
- i want a school that has the same aspect of service that we had during community service
- i want a school that is POLITICALLY ACTIVE
- i want the proverbial feeling like i belong here
so what's wrong with me?
sometimes I think that if I just let myself go and I just keep writing and kept thinking - i would eventually just write about what I think is wrong with me - because when comes down to it- i am constantly questioning- everything- even me
the end- for now
Chatboard (0)